"It's a bit noisy in here... it doesn't sound like much prayer is going on?" The teacher (like many of the students) had expected something a little bit different when she entered the 'prayer room' this morning... the Christmas tree lights and the post-it-covered walls, the hanging-strings heavy with cardboard-confessions and the steady thump of a drum-and-bass cd in the background... this was all a bit of a surprise.
She soon discovered, however, that within and beneath the 'noise' - amongst the laughter and the conversations and the questioning - some of the students were in fact praying for the first time in their lives.
Many of them were deep, soul-prayers... beautiful, disturbing, inspiring. Another teacher told me that she found them hard to read as they were so moving...
"Please forgive me for all the times I put things over you God."
"I'm sorry for saying you made me ugly. Please forgive me."
"Why am I the way I am?"
During the day, we hosted two year 8 R.S. classes and one year 7 R.S. class, plus about 50 students visited during break and lunchtimes. They all seemed to really enjoy the prayer room, and many admitted that it was nothing like what they expected. One year 8 girl told us, "when I was coming down the corridor, I didn't feel anything, but as soon as I walked into this room - even before I knew what was in here - I could feel something different. I don't know what it is though?" (Don't worry, we think we know what it is...)
This is the second week of prayer that we've hosted at Frances Bardsley (Secondary) School for Girls. The first was back in November 2008 and it went really well (you can read my daily blog reports here, here, here, here and here). It already feels, however, that we've started out at a higher level... I don't know how to describe it any better than that. It's like we've 'hit the ground running', although I think that the 'momentum' has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with the activity of Holy Spirit in this school.
The latest addition to the prayer room 'stations' is a Big Questions table, where students can write their Big Questions onto cardboard and add them to the pile in the centre... which is an act of prayer in itself. At least one of our team has been sitting at the table during each session to help the students reflect on these question-prayers...
Out of the hundred-or-so Big Questions, here's a few that caught my attention for different reasons... some are clearly 'head' questions - theory stuff, belief, ideas. And some are clearly 'heart' questions - mostly coming out of unhealed pain.
"Why don't my friends like me?"
"Why don't prayers get answered?"
"If God is real, why did he let my Grandad die?"
"Who made God. Who chose God as your name?"
"Why are there different religions?"
"Wha have I done wrong?"
"Dear God, will I go to heaven or hell?"
"If you have done something really bad, can you be forgiven?"
"Why don't we always feel you God?"
I am convinced that we do not make enough space in our church-life for people, especially young people, to ask questions... and this is desperately sad, because honest questions are often the beginning of a (young) person's faith-journey (maybe the middle, and the end, too? The Bible says that it is only when Jesus finally returns that our questions will cease. Like when a mother gives birth, the joy will overwhelm the questions).
And then, even when we do make space, we often fail to discern the real nature of, or motive behind the question. For example, when one of the year 8 students asked, "Do u come back alive when u die?", I wondered if she was asking a 'head' question - a theological question about the nature of after-life and resurrection (I have a few of these!) - OR if she was actually asking a 'heart' question - a personal question arising out of personal tragedy?
Maybe what she really wanted to ask was something like - "My Grandad died... I miss him so much... where is he now?" - like the Big Question I posted earlier. As a team we're asking Holy Spirit for the gifts to discern the meaning behind the questions and to encourage every question-er. Please continue to pray for us.
The other prayer room stations are going really well too. A few students have asked for prayer as they've sat in our Prayer Chair. And the Be Sorry/Be Forgiven area has proved very popular. I'll post more about that tomorrow.
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