"What if our default behaviour was different?" I wondered aloud, not really making much sense. "I mean, what if our default behaviour, our 'norm' wasn't to preserve and protect our individualistic, nuclear-family lives, but to foster and adopt the parentless, to open our homes to the homeless and broken, to truly live hospitably?"
The question, the wondering hung in the air between us for a few moments... there in the busyness of the Eva Hart on Sunday night, we began, even for a moment, to imagine another world.
In their wonderful book, 'Truth Is Stranger Than It Used To Be', Walsh and Middleton suggest that "a liberated imagination is a prerequisite for facing the future."
"Can we imagine," they appeal to their readers, and maybe to themselves as well, "a politics of justice and compassion in place of the present global politics of oppression and economic idolatory? Dare we imagine an economics of equality and care in place of the dominant economics of affluence and poverty?" And so on... Until the end of the paragraph where they warn, "if we cannot have such a liberated imagination, and cannot countenance such radical dreams, then the story remains closed for us and we have no hope."
Can we, *dare* we imagine a different way of being? In those few moments, imagining, I felt a flicker of hope, for us, for the world. I'm not sure that I was even aware how hope-less I'd been... but those moments and these conversations are renewing my hope. Dreaming, imagining, wondering and asking "but what if?..." and "risking dreams of an alternative world".
On Sunday night, as Ian and David, Jon and Dewi, Rob and I huddled around the pub-table, we were exploring chapter three of 'Schools of Conversion:12 Marks of a New Monasticism', the one about hospitality, we couldn't help but dream...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Here's a few of the journal-jottings I scribbled as we dreamed and drank and talked together;
...historically, our faith-emphasis has probably been on 'words', but Jesus demonstrates that content and context are not separate. Maybe context *is* content? We reflected on the extraordinary story of Jesus and Zaccheus (Jesus *goes* to people... often our emphasis is a "come to us" one, where we retain the powerful role of host?).
..."it is the devil's own work to detach the language of salvation from the setting of relationships, to separate words from personal relationships, to make salvation a 'cause' or a 'project' that can be conducted as efficiently and impersonally as possible. But the gospel will not permit it. In the story of our salvation, we find the Architect of our salvation going about his salvation work in the thick textures of place and person, and to a surprising extent, in the settings of a meal."
...we (the evangelical church?) have used every-vehicle-possible (including meals) to drive our wordy-message into people's lives. Is this "the devil's own work"? Is this authentic? (Is this more to do with our understanding of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs - that people need to bewarm and fed if they are to contemplate higher-order 'spiritual' meaning - than Jesus' gospel of salvation?) What about Alpha courses? Are we sharing meals with people in church-halls who we've never eaten with in our homes? Is the Alpha course an example of us dragging 'hospitality' into our corporate church-meeting life, away from the "thick textures" of our home/personal lives?
..."i think i'm rediscovering how to have meals with *friends*, let alone with strangers. I mean, how to be fully present over a mealtable, and not perform, and not hide in the shallows."
..."i love our community meals, but if we're not careful, these could become our 'meetings'. What we practice together should be an overspill of the breaking-bread and the open mealtables of our homes, our daily rhythms and lives."
...deeply challenged by the story in the chapter, of the couple who slowly welcomed a schizophrenic homeless man into their home and family life. "We can't enter this lightly," warned Dewi, early in our reflections. "This is definitely beyond simply sharing food!" added Rob.
..."We couldn't shelter every homeless person in Lexington, but we could help John." We recognised that sometimes we feel paralysed by the enormous need 'out there'... and then sometimes we hide behind this enormity - it is our excuse for doing nothing. But we *can* help someone. And maybe helping that one person will be like dropping a tiny pebble into a still pond... making ripples... triggering faith in others.
..."I'm becoming increasingly convinced that hospitality, the way Jean Varier describes it - a constant openess of the heart. Living/saying, at every moment, 'come in' - is the core of the gospel. In the hospitality of others we experience the welcome of God. In our hospitality, others experience that same, loving 'come in, you are welcome'." If so, maybe we should view the gradual erosion of community life, and the increasing barriers to hospitality and shared-meals (fear, the breakdown of family life, work/time-pressure, laws and legislation, even technology) in a different light... as a site of 'spiritual warfare' even? How important do we see our opportnity to share-meals, open our homes, extend/offer community/relationships? How much are we willing to guard these and in what ways are we willing to fight for these? (note: this is a guarding/fighting to stay *open* and *generous* not to be protective)
...trust? Do we need a certain level of trust or giving/receiving before we can welcome someone into our home, for instance? What's the difference between giving sacrificially and being a doormat? (...a lengthy discussion followed these questions!) Is there a difference between 'feeling' trust and 'choosing' to trust? How much are we affected/influenced by our culture which insures *against* trust or risk (and actually encourages fear) in almost every circumstance (people have raised eyebrows and objections when we've talked about our plans to share a community-house with Helen and Ian and baby-Esme). As followers of Jesus, maybe he is who we receive-from, as we give to others with the possibility of no return? "Maybe this is just our selfishness coming out," remarked Rob. The involuntary moment of silence that followed might have been confirmation? :o)
..."Do I want to re-shape my life around just one person? I mean, lay down my hopes and dreams, while not knowing where having this person live in my house will lead?" someone asked, probably echoing a lot of our worry. Grace. Grace is the only answer. "Today, I'm not sure I could do it," I admitted, "but maybe tomorrow, if the circumstance presents itself, maybe God will give me and my family the grace to say 'yes'?" We are simply called to 'go', to love, to make disciples, to be kind and generous and open to the whisper of God... "there... him... her... that child... that place... go..."
...some practical suggestions for getting started (note: *started*... we cannot *end* here. This has to be a start, intending to continue wherever this leads us);
- pray. Ask God to open our hearts and eyes, each day,
- choose to be more responsive to what we feel and see... willing to be diverted and interrupted, holding programmes and plans lightly, flexible,
- consider/pray some more about (re-)location. Proximity is an important part of hospitality,
- continue to deepen and widen our open community living, meal-times, prayer-times, reaching out,
- encourage ripples... talk and dream and conspire together.
...we probably cannot fully express all of the '12 Marks' as fully as we'd like to. Maybe God is whispering to us about some in particular. We feel like this is one of those we're beginning to explore - but we have so far to go! God help us.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ian breathed deeply. "I feel smacked between the eyes by this. It's so accessible. I mean, hospitality is something I can do, but I still find it incredibly challenging." Round the pub-table, the nodded agreement revealled how similarly we all felt. "Helen and I have even talked about fostering or adopting - being a 'father to the fatherless' - I want to do something. I'm excited, you know, but I'm scared by the idea of change." He paused as if collecting himself. "But even if we find it difficult..." Ian paused again, tears filling his eyes as he plumbed words from deep inside, "maybe we can make it easier for our children to live differently? Maybe we can leave a legacy?"
Jon followed Ian, smiling gently, "This is having a really big impact on my life... these conversations feel like 'life meetings' to me! I just feel really inspired, motivated."
"Me too," added Dewi, "although I guess it's ok not to change everything immediately? I'm still asking myself what I've done about chapters 1 and 2." Once again, nods were shared around the table. "And for me, it's got to be about love, our motivation must be to love others. I've really identified with tonight though."
"For me," Rob began thoughtfully, "tonight has highlighted some of the issues, the differences in the way that church is done." In all of our conversations, we've tried to look and talk towards what we want to be, instead of looking and talking back against what we don't want to be (any more)... sometimes, though, this is a tough task. "I don't think I'd be able to do some of this right now," Rob confessed, as disarmingly honest as always, "although I think I've learnt more about myself now?"
David echoed what others had said about the theme being "accessible. And the thing about having enough of God's grace for the next step is really helpful. I guess I'm a bit risk-averse," he chuckled. He's not the only one!
"For me, living hospitably is the very heart of the gospel, and I'm desperate to learn, although I'm scared of the costs." I think the hesitation on my face was obvious.
Have you ever read "Making Room: Recovering Hospitality As a Christian Tradition" by Christine Pohl? You can check it out on amazon. She has worked in or visited serveral communities including L'Abri , Catholic Workers House, & L'Arche. The book gives a history of christian hospitality, presents examples in those communities stated above, and practical ways to go forward, like setting particular boundries in your community in order to provide hospitality better. I've read a few chapter and they were good, and I've been planning on ordering a copy for myself, I just havent gotten around to it yet. Anyways, I thought that might be helpful.
Posted by: Nathan Clancy | Saturday, 23 June 2007 at 04:30 PM